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SINGLES: 2002 1. Freelance Hellraiser: "A Stroke of Genius" (n/a) They never had it so good. 2. Osymyso: "Intro-Introspection" (Radar) If, as Tom Ewing says, "'Intro-Inspection' is a dream pop is having about itself," then it's one of those dreams where it's flying, surely. 3. Conway: "Lisa's Got Hives" (n/a) "The only successful marriage of hiphop & rock? (And they weren’t even trying!)" 4. LCD Soundsystem: "Losing My Edge" (DFA) A good comedy record is a gift that keeps on giving. 5. Underworld, "Two Months Off" (Junior Boy's Own) Choked with gold. 6. Dixie Chicks: "Landslide (Sheryl Crow Remix)" (Sony) New wine in rockist skins. 7. Goo Goo Dolls: "Here Is Gone" (Warner Brothers) It rhymes "solution" with "pollution," and is great anyway. 8. Sugababes: "Freak Like Me" (Island) Hardcore remake of Metropolis by the directors of "California Love." 9. Archigram: "Carnaval" (Crydamoure) Summer's next-to-last sound. 10. Lady Dana: "Ladies First" (The Third Movement) If Lightning Bolt were a gurl. 11. Michelle Branch: "All That You Wanted" (Warner) The one where she pretends she's Jesus. 12. Basement Jaxx: "Where's Your Head At?" (XL Recordings) Gary Numan fetishism so precise even the slightly louche drumming from "Cars" is matched. 13. Tweet: "Oops Oh My" (Elektra/Asylum) A tale of mystery and imagination, but naughty. 14. Wiley: "They Should Know" (n/a) Push it real good. 15. Usher: "U Don't Have to Call " (Arista) It's that falling synth line and those strings and who could care what he's singing about? 16. Jennifer Lopez: "Ain't It Funny (Murder Remix feat. Ja Rule & Caddillac Tah)" (Sony) Wherein Ja Rule finally lets the goddamned cat out of the bag: "IT! MUST! BETHEAZZZZZZZ..." 17. Space Cowboy: "I Would Die 4 U" (Southern Fried) If Prince was awfully fond of rhinestones. 18. Santana feat. Michelle Branch: "The Game Of Love" (Arista) Has everything to do with Branch's "whhhyyyy..." and nothing to do with the balding pop auteur or the former Sri Chinmoy disciple. 19. Nelly: "Hot in Herre" (Universal) "Yes, maaaaster. It's...it's getting hhhhooot in herrrrre. Sooo...hooot...I waaaant tooo....I waaaant tooo...take off aaaaall myyyy cloooothes...yeeessss..." 20. Tok Tok vs. Soffy O: "Day Of Mine" (Leaded 033/EastWest) People fighting over little things and wasting precious time. 21. Shakedown: "At Night" (Defected) What it's like to live in New York City, circa 1982. 22. Missy Elliot: "Work It" (Elektra/Asylum) The values of Old Skool reinterpreted for a wearier age. 23. Dizzie Rascal: "I Luv U" (n/a) I refuse to believe Dizzie really cares about gettin' some wife material. Unless it's someone else's wife. 24. The Doves: "There Goes The Fear" (Capitol) What it's like to live in New York City, circa 2002. Even if it's really not "about" that. 25. Interpol: Interpol EP (Matador) Every street's a road to hell in old New York. Anglophilia of the year. 26. The Amaranths: "Clean (Demo)" (n/a) Anglophilia of the year, runner up. 27. Nas: "Made You Look" (Sony) "Lawd, he's quick on the trigger/He's a natural born crack-shot/He finds a new target every night/And he sure does practice lots." 28. Clipse: "Grindin' (Selectors Remix)" (Arista) The beginning is like being in a gay bar when everyone's checking out your shoes. 29. Ms. Dynamite: "Dy-Na-Mi-Tee" (Universal International) I've just seen the video and it's kinda disappointing that she doesn't twirl her hair when she hits the chorus, like I imagined. Jumping Jill Flash. 30. The White Stripes: "Fell In Love With A Girl" (V2) ...and the consummation lasted only twenty seconds. 31. Kylie Minogue: "Can't Get you Out of My Head" (Capitol) Don't you just hate these oh-so-literal titles? 32. Audio Bullys: "We Don't Care" (Source) I want this song to sit on my face. 33. Christina Milian: "When You Look at Me" (Universal/Def Soul) As lean as her belly no doubt is. (I actually have no idea what she looks like.) 34. Ms. Jade feat. Timbaland: "Feel The Girl" (Interscope) In a better world, there would be as many "Superstition" rips as there were "Louie Louie" ones. 35. Kaito: "Beautiful Day" (Kompakt) But not too beautiful -- that would ruin the effect. 36. Las Ketchup: "The Ketchup Song" (Sony) In the future, all folk music will sound like this. 37. DJ Lance Lockarm: "Come to Missy" (n/a) I DEMAND A VIDEO RIGHT NOW. 38. Jill Scott: "Slowly Surely (Theo Parrish Remix)" (n/a) Nu-soul lapsing into narcolepsy. 39. No Doubt: "Hella Good" (Interscope) Electroclash without trying. 40. Eminem: "Without Me" (Interscope) Damnit, he's a chore to enjoy. 41. Spoon: "Jonathon Fisk" (12XU) Eat shit and die, Larry Z*r*mb*r. 42. Lo Fidelity Allstars: "Feel What I Feel" (Columbia) British people pretending they're American only end up sounding more British. 43. Trina (feat. Fabolous): How We Do? (Atlantic) The lite-est sound in exoticist hip-hop, hence the best. 44. Jimmy Eat World: The Middle (Dreamworks) "Furthermore, adolescence is one of the worst parts of life..." 45. Calling: "Wherever You Will Go" (RCA) Token constipated-Hetfield-singer entry. 46. Utada Hikaru: "Letters" (EMI Japan) Because "Tokyo Nights" wasn't released as a single. 47. Sticky: "More Weed" (Social Circles) "More Coke" would have been more accurate, but not as catchy. 48. Layo & Bushwacka: "Love Story (Tim Deluxe Remix)" (XL Recordings) An actual Nina Simone comeback would just be too awkward at this point. 49. Röyksopp: "Elpe" (EMI International) The Hampsterdance for smart people. 50. Thomas Bangalter & DJ Falcon: "So Much Love To Give" (Roule) The sequel to the Pornography of Semiotics will be me playing this song in a loop for 24 hours. |
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